Saturday, March 6, 2010

Your Personal "Why?"

Greetings and Salutations my friends! I was chatting with an acquaitance on Facebook the other day about why I started my fitness journey. It was a good that reminded me of where I was, where I am now, and where I want to be in the future. In reflecting upon her question, I was reminded of how I became the person that I was just under a year ago...fat, unhappy, no self-esteem...and the person that I am, healthy, positive, and ready to take on the world. It's amazing what a mere 300+ days can do to a person.

The most miserable I ever remember being was when I was in high school in the late 1980s. I was the 'behemoth' of my peer group at 5'9" and weighing in at a 'hefty' 142 pounds. I remember recording my weight in a journal every night, knowing that my friends were topping the scales at 100-110, and there I was, the rotund one, knocking on the door of 150 lbs. Sure, I was a good eight inches taller than they were, and when I look back on those days now, I don't know what I was thinking. But the funny thing is (funny, sad, not funny, ha-ha), some of those 'friends' of mine told me I was fat because I didn't weight 105 pounds and I couldn't wear a size 1 or 3 in Guess jeans (yep, I'm going 'old school' on ya'!). In fact, some of those same 'friends' would head out into the school parking lot during school hours and throw cookie containers and other junk food trash on top of my car to make me feel even better about the fact that I weighed 40 pounds more than they did. Another of their favorite ways to empower themselves was to follow me down the hallway, oinking like a piglet and mooing like a cow. And you know what? Their cruelty was really effective. I allowed them to take away my power...I allowed them to take away my self-esteem...I allowed them to have their dreams and to take away mine. I became a shadow of what I could have been.

I went through a major part of my life with very little self-esteem. I did a pretty good job, for the most part, hiding that fact, but I truly thought pretty little of myself until the time I was well into my 30s. But in typical fashion, I started to spiral into a rut where I didn't like myself much, and that took over every aspect of my marriage, my career, my outlook, everything. I was down in the dumps, I wanted to feel good about myself, and I didn't know what to do.

On April 2, 2009, I took the initiative to take one small step to get my life back. That was the day that I decided that I was in this for me, me, me. I simply HAD to love myself for the person I was, but I knew I had to make some improvements to truly feel that love. I started pushing play that day, immersed myself in learning everything that I could about fitness and nutrition, lost weight, empowered myself with strong muscles, and learned to love me. Instead of worrying incessantly about things that I couldn't control, I learned to manage the things that I knew, without a doubt, were 100% within my own control. Funny how that makes EVERYTHING in your life better. With my improved fitness was better health, a better marriage, a better career, simply a better outlook on life. Just because I made the decision to empower myself with good exercise and nutrition.

I had to ask myself a very important question, "Whose dream did you build today--yours or someone else's?" (Jeff Olson. 2005). If you spend your whole week, month, year, or life, trying, or even allowing someone else's dream to build, rather than your own, you're doing yourself a tremendous disservice. Sure, great things do come out of doing for others. I'm not going to deny that, but what about you? What about what YOU want? Where is the time you deserve to achieve all of those fantastic things you desire?
So here I am...almost a year later still continuing on my journey to be the best me that I can be. And yes, those are my pictures there on the top of the page. I figure there's no better way of being accountable to goals than putting that first picture out there!! There you have it, there's my 'Why?' What's yours?
If you'd like some help on your own fitness journey, I'd LOVE to help...send me a message from my coaching page.

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